Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Philip Roland Sturm's LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 3rd, 2004
4:11 pm	This is my metaphor. Cuz this one stinks. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:18 am	Later. Goodbye, friends. There's a time and place where I'll come back. That time and place isn't now. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
8:10 pm	Well, here we go again. He's giving me 30 days to move out because I smoke. It doesn't matter if I smoke outside, the place is reserved for non-smokers he says. He says I'll just smoke inside anyway when it gets cold out. Fuck this shit. I'm moving out this weekend. Champlin here I come. Why do all old men hate me? Current Mood: touched (7 Comments |Comment on this)
7:02 pm	Funny, no? Star Tribune(Minneapolis) November 30th, 2004 6:50 PM (CST) City Council members today at the behest of the political action group NMF (No More Fun) introduced a new measure to the docket. The new resolution would move to ban all alcoholic consumption at bars, resteraunts and "public meeting places". Jane McCrabface spoke for NMF. "We believe that our position is justified in light of new scientific research completed by the Council For Unfair Impositions." The study she cites is a new and very controversial finding by the CFUI which makes the case for second-hand alcohol and it's affects. The side effects of second-hand alcohol include: annoyance, bruising, soiled clothes and unbearable political conversation. The scientific community has yet to endorse the study pending "further review of all pertinent data and facts to date". The measure is expected to gain widespread support from outlying rural communities eager to clean up "their cities". If the resolution is passed as drafted, bar and resteraunt owners would no longer be allowed to serve alcoholic beverages and the measure would take effect June 1st, 2005. Negotiations are underway between council members and NMF lobbyists in order to "find a more efficient and brutal manner in which to screw over our residents at the behest of health lunatics state wide." NMF's website, www.nomorefun.com also contains future proposals to ban darts, pool and foosball from these establishments. Side effects listed include: eye damage, contusions, puncture wounds and carpal tunnel syndrome. EDIT: Evidently the mods over at twin_cities do not approve of satire. That place is forever condemned to tripe about looking for used furniture, crappy independent shows and other inane minutae. Bitches. (Comment on this)
5:06 pm	The proof is in the pudding. A security guard jumped off the US Bank Plaza building today. Seconds later I considered looking around to see if they need a replacement. What's the difference between St. Paul and Minneapolis? Well, everyone is older. Secondly, the place is lousy with rich-kid colleges. Additionally, having lived here for a few weeks I have already been asked for directions several times. No one knows where anything is because nothing is in order. 101 North Snelling is still south of I-94, streets are named after flowers or old people and whoever planned the streets decided you can't go a couple of miles without a diagonal street thrown in for... good measure or something. It is a very pleasant city if you're into the suburban thing but need to maintain some kind of urban cred. Last but not least, I acquiesed to the need not to smoke indoors out of respect and what not. The people next door however, have nixed my smoking out on the porch even. Yeah, that's St. Paul for you. Seriously, anyone been bitched at in Minneapolis for smoking on porches? So in a few months now the only place I'll be legally allowed to smoke is outside. Not at home, not in bars, not in resteraunts, and by God not on the fucking porch. Oh... and parking is plentiful and spacious. (Comment on this)
10:56 am	Thank you subconscious. I just had one of the most viscerally engaging and sensory intensive dreams I can ever remember having. The dream involved skydiving from space. Don't ask me how it works. I distinctly remember the sight, sounds and feel of the protective cocoon as it broke away and the resulting panoramic albeit chaotic sight of clouds and ocean below as I rushed down at terminal velocity. I remember playing around with falling face first or feet first. Then whoever my jump buddy was reminded me I should start using our neat portable rocket pads to slow our descent. A few minutes later I splashed most gently into the waves. It's like my brain is making up for something lacking in my real life. In other news I know now exactly what type of book I'm going to write. I've dropped all but four of the communities I was in. Last night I watched a fifteen minute story on the tragedy of the loss of an NBC exec's son. They closed the story with, "The flight attendant and pilot were also killed in the crash." Oh, really. By the way, some other non-important people were killed, but that doesn't matter cuz they weren't rich like that kid was, and as a society we really don't give a damn about anyone unless they're rich or famous. It's rather embarassing really, the whole celebrity entertainment/tabloid industry which is fueled by us poor bastards to begin with. Why did you waste fifteen minutes of my time with the story of anguish concerning the Ebersol's and not say... the pilot's wife? Everybody loses loved ones. Everybody has troubles. Not everyone is rich. I'll keep my sympathy for those who need it. /asshole (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 29th, 2004
10:54 am	Ah Christ. Our landlord has earned my eternal enmity. No, I don't have a fucking dog and when the fuck are you going to read the laws concerning rental units and right to access? After a very random and very bizarre grill session with Oldy McOldFart he wanders aimlessly back down the hall to harass James, with his Mexican enforcer in tow. When whatever the fuck kind of bug up his ass is satisfied he leaves, accomplishing nothing. I swear that dude thinks he is some kind of gentry with his minority manservants always in tow for some unforseeable fucking reason. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
2:46 am	Wherein I rant against laisse faire... (yawn) Months ago this specific thought ran through my consciousness almost continuously. Try and hang on to both of them and you'll lose everything. Only now that specter has a companion and it goes by the words of: About one year later, and we're back where we started; the four of us. Is this going to be a case of history repeating itself? Or is this a chance for glorious salvation, a second chance, the chance no one gets to do things right? Fear. ( Pastiche. ) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
12:25 am	Filler. Nothing. The old roommates are asking for twenty-two dollars with an ever increasing array of multi-colored lines, arrows, circles and underscores on the message board. Brian says the balance due is 320 dollars. This means the bill hasn't been paid regardless. So, nah. Otherwise I've been playing a lot of Doom 3 and I'm not even playing it because I enjoy it. I'm playing it because it isn't finished and it bugs me. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 26th, 2004
1:26 pm	Rebound or better by comparison? The night before Thanksgiving I travelled a very dark, very twisted, and very isolated road. The kind of place you find yourself in and the person right next to you seems a million miles away. The utter despair and helplessness in that place overwhelms anything else. Then it went away. And now I feel better than I have in a while. Or do I? Or does it just feel better in comparison to that place, and I'm where I started? I ain't askin' too many questions, though. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. This makes me think this is a brain chemical thing, if I can get that low and then it just goes away. There seems to be some sort of line being drawn with regiments on either side; the only problem is that no one is sending envoys out to meet in the middle under a flag of parley. There's some faulty intelligence out there, folks. And, like Tenet, I will be the fall guy for warning anyone of anything. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
1:39 pm	Let's get some things straight. President Bush's tax cuts are lauded as the stimulant cure to what was our failing economy. Around 70 percent of our public debt is financed by foreign investors. President Bush refuses to place national security into the hands of foreign powers. Get fuckin' real. We went to war with Iraq, our intelligence "bolstered" by foreign intel corroboration... BUT MY GOD WE'RE NOT HANDING OVER NATIONAL SECURITY DECISIONS TO FOREIGNERS!!!!! Once again, get fuckin' real. Tax cuts are supposedly good. Let's enact a flat tax! ( Rant. ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:07 pm	From the coolest community around. Read this love story, it will help explain a lot. Thanks to the writer and to Nanikore for the community in the first place. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:03 pm	This is my panic face. You can't really tell much difference. I weighed myself yesterday. I haven't weighed this little in a long time. In fact, I haven't weighed this little naked in a long time, much less with all of my clothes on... If I was a woman, this would be great news. So I'm just not going to think about it. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
1:00 pm	That is all. Funny. (Comment on this)
12:23 pm	It's a Basic Kind of Morning. Cheap fast-burning cigarettes, two eggs over-easy and a pot of coffee. I should be in marketing because the title to this entry is what Basic cigarettes need for a slogan. Basics for me is a throwback to my days in the military and times spent with Joe, my best friend in that dungeon. A pack of Basics, a forty of Old English and two days till were in another country. Morning sun brighter than usual, four day scruff scratchier than usual and cigarette smoke more irritating than usual; that for some reason is a viscerally enjoyable Basic kind of morning. Things will be ok as I recognize my recent dependance on the goodwill of those around me. Elise, for patience, help and understanding, not to mention gas money. Sarah, for drinks, pool and refreshing interaction. Dan, for being ready to help despite my difficulties, drunkeness and lack of ability to adjust and assimilate as well as pizza and beer. Brian, for being... well Brian and an awesomely smooth facilitator of roommate transition. It's Thanksgiving and whatever mental/emotional malady I have that makes me feel cornered and pressured from all sides only further emphasizes the basic authenticity of friends and inherent virtue in sunrises, fifty cents and walking instead of driving. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
6:55 pm	Where booze is your momma! I wish I had disposable income to use to get drunk. I'll sleep or something instead. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:48 am	G-G-G-G-G-G-G-UNIT!!!!!@1!!!one!!1!!! OMG MUTHERFUCKERS ACT LIKE THEY GOT SUMTHIN 2 SAY BUT WHEN THEY MOOV THERE LIPS ITS A BUNCHA JIBBRISH MUTHERFUCKERS FERGOT ABOUT DRE! Edit: On a more serious note, is this what our glorius gangsta-rap culture is down to? A knife? Hear that? That's the sound of a very large fat man rolling in his grave mixed in with Tupac's laughter in his hidden hideaway lair. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:22 am	Fuck it. Fuck this fucking journal. I am not mature enough for it. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
9:30 pm	Peace. "I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it." -Dwight D. Eisenhower We're not spending enough? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
8:25 pm	Guerilla insurgency. Damn, it's like when you first start smoking. The stale, earthy aftertaste of my cigarette mixes with the childishly sweet relish of phlegm. The mixture of unhealthiness hits the ground with a loud thwack!, rewarding my suffering with crude satisfaction. One more packet follows, just to make sure. If it was cold out it would be one fitting steamy pile of crud. You start to lose track of whether or not it's the illness or the depression that makes you feel like shit. Is it the depression that causes you to sleep all day, and fight all night? Somewhere between sleep and consciousness, cloud and sun, lies all of your fears making sure you know they're there, whichever way you're headed. The King's Men of Freud, demanding their toll and chasing you into dreams or wakefulness if you don't pay. You're caught in between, and for a moment your reality is walls fully inscribed with Sharpie professing love for someone who isn't you. For a moment, fear is reality and reality is that home you can't get back to. You make your passage and awake, thankful yet again for the way it is. Your respite is brief however, as clouds of anger waft in slowly passing through, reminding you of the King's taxes. Sleep is a refuge, all you have to do is run the gauntlet to get there. Reality is a condemnation in the truth that you are indeed a weak and pathetic man. You deal with it and find some sort of resolution, the recipe to clear your skies and all is well. Then you fall asleep and in your blissful carelessness Freud sneaks back into your lines, his Men encroaching once again using the deeply grooved ditches of your psyche for cover. And you wake up, your journey to reality fraught with ambushes, mines and hidden pits filled with the fecal matter of your life. Square fucking one for one more day as you fight for resolution inevitably yours at the end of it; only to lose it once more in the morning. (1 Comment |Comment on this)